New Year Reflections

"For last year's word belong to last year's language, and next year's words await another voice."

T. S. Eliot

This quote, from one of my favourite poets, feels an incredibly apt place to start as I think about the year to come.

2022 has seen so much change for Black Cat Bakes: moving to another new bakery space, expanding both direct to customer and wholesale output, developing new products, learning to use new equipment, and trying to balance managing a business alongside caring for a baby (sometimes successfully, and at others, decidedly less so).

The bakery move enabled production to be scaled up, allowing me to take on new wholesale clients, and initially made that work-life balance more manageable. The new equipment meant I was able to achieve more in a shorter space of time. However, as demand increased (which is fantastic!), the hours again increased. This ultimately has led to burn out, and needing to take a real break from the bakery over the Christmas and New Year period. Being honest with myself, I know that the hours I have been doing are not maintainable in the long term, and something has to give. More manpower is needed in the bakery, meaning fewer 15 hour shifts, which is what I am consistently doing each day currently. To justify the expense of additional bakers, again output needs to increase, as well as a new model where we move away from deliveries (time and cost inefficient) and instead offer a direct customer experience...aka a shop.

At a time when many bakeries are closing due to the energy crisis, this seems quite a daunting and financially risky leap. Thinking about how many loaves of bread need to be sold even just to cover the increased rent and business rates does plague me...but, it does seem the only tangible way to keep Black Cat Bakes going, in hopefully a more sustainable way.

I'm trying now to find that other voice that Eliot mentions; to be less afraid of the unknown, of the ambiguity, and self-doubt, and instead to embrace the challenge. Careful consideration now needs to go in to where this could take shape, and how it will be financed. A huge investment in equipment will be needed, and I know many new businesses have benefitted from Crowdfunding campaigns, which is something to consider. It's so easy to allow that imposter syndrome to stop you from pursuing your passions, but I'm determined that Sasha will one day see me as someone who is strong and courageous, and motivate him to not give up when something is difficult.

I have so many thanks to give for 2022. Firstly, thank you to all of you for continuing to support Black Cat Bakes. Especially at a time where the cost of living is skyrocketing, the fact that so many of you are still choosing to buy artisan bread, no matter how regularly, is really humbling. I have kindest customers, many of whom have also become friends, and I'm forever grateful that the bakery has brought us together.

Thank you to Black Cat Mama and Papa. None of this would have been possible without them. They initially let me set up the bakery in an annexe in their house, and have always been my greatest cheerleaders. Now, they enable me to work by caring for Sasha on bakery days, and so much more behind the scenes - from being excellent washer uppers, to ingredient shopping. Without their help, I wouldn't be able to continue with the bakery. I'm so lucky to have them, and be able to work in the knowledge that Sasha is getting all the love in the world when I'm not there. I don't tell you enough, but I love you both so much.

I'm also incredibly grateful for the help of beautiful Bev, who many of you may remember from the fabulous Wivenhoe Kitchen, who is now an integral part of Black Cat Bakes. Everyday Bev brings her infectious smile to the bakery. She is the best listener, and always has a can-do attitude, even when I don't see an easy way forward. Her belief in the bakery, and what we produce, makes me feel some of that pride which can be easy to dismiss or downplay. Thank you Bev, for always listening, laughing, and making me smile (despite the 4am starts, which is a pretty impressive achievement). A special mention also for Pippa, who has been an invaluable helper with deliveries, and whose gentle prodding finally brought about the return of the beloved tin loaf. Female friendship is so important, and I'm so lucky that the bakery has brought them into my life.

Finally, all that remains is for me to wish you all a Happy New Year. May you all find that new voice, ready to embrace new challenges, pursue your passions, and take those risks.

All my love, Ayala x